Waking up in the hotel the following morning I was surprisingly un-hungover so after getting my stuff together and checking out, I trotted back to the station and took the train back to Toronto airport and checked into my hotel for the third – and last – time on the trip.
Not planning on just staring out of the window for the rest of the day I got myself a ticket for a night boat cruise and returned to the Toronto center. Walking around, enjoying the weather and killing time, I unfortunately realized that NomNomNom Poutine was closed on Sundays, so I had to find a different place to curb my hunger for one last pile of poutine.
Belly completely filled with heavy poutine I trotted about until I ended up at the harbour where I boarded the boat and spent an hour or so travelling back and forth on the river taking in the full beauty of the downtown skyline. Definitely a better view than from the tower – especially because the windows were open letting you get an unobstructed view of the sights.
For the trip home I believe the easiest would be to quote my Facebook post from when I came home. Uncensored – sorry mom & dad; my language is foul when I get annoyed and you aren’t around.
My airport hotel was excellent; flexible check-out times so I was able to check out at 1400 so it fit with my departure. I had checked in to my flight in advance and I just needed to print my baggage tag at the airport and hand it in.
The airport doesn't have dedicated bag-drop counters so I got in line in the BC check-in line - first in line. The order of people to go the counters next was controlled by two employees. When it was my turn - no it wasn't! An elderly couple had made their own line and rushed to the counter as soon as it was available, completely missed by the employees and I didn't realize what had happened until it was too late. I can't be mad at them, though, they obviously didn't see us/the "real" line because with their heads so far up their own asses all they would have been able to see was darkness. And they were Very Important Couple (tm) so of course they should be able to jump the line and ignore everyone else. And they took so FUCKING long. Finally I could hand over my bag and I was done in literally seconds.
Fast track scanner for security didn't work, so had to talk with a security guy - he let me through manually but pointed out it probably wouldn't have made a difference (next time I want a security guy that can count - the "normal" line was clearly at least 3 times as long). Success! Until my bag got randomly picked for thorough inspection - number 7 in line, and they all took a couple of minutes each. Waiting, among several large families including all generations, including toddlers and small kids. The fucking NOISE!
Finally got done and escaped to the lounge. Peace and quiet for a while. Delicious desserts. But why do they always only have ruby ports and not tawnies? :(
Went to the gate to board. The Very Important Couple (tm) was of course in front. Chaos, as another plane - even larger - was departing at the gate next to us half an hour later. We started boarding at departure time. Of course. And why is it SO FUCKING HARD for people to understand what order to board in? A majority in front of me were not BC so when they were turned away and told to wait for their group to be called they stood like deers in headlights and couldn't or wouldn't understand that they had to step away so others could pass them (WHAT? There are other people on this flight than ME?!? NO! That cannot be!!).
Finally got settled into my seat.
There were problems with the on-board APU so they had to use one from the ground. It arrived quickly, but it turned out it wasn't big enough, so they had to call for a bigger one. It took close to an hour before it had arrived and we could pull away from the gate, and the mean time they couldn't run any cooling in the plane - and Toronto is/was mid/high twenty degrees. The fucking temperature in the plane... At least the entertainment system was turned on when we sat down and not as when I flew to Toronto where it didn't get turned on until after takeoff.
The flight was a nice diversion from all the shitty things that lead to this. I do want to know who the fuck turns off the entertainment systems 5 minutes before arrival at the gate. I might be biased; I had 2 minutes left of an episode I was watching, perfectly timed for our arrival. I might have growled a bit too loud as the woman sitting in front of me turned around and looked at me.
Oh, didn't really sleep, either, so of course I was a normal pleasant patient human being arriving in Copenhagen.
Getting off the plane went well, arriving in the new part of the terminal (E for those in the know) but as they had closed the passport controls there they had put up a sign directing us to the control at C instead, including fencing so there was no doubt where to go. A group in front of me went in complete shutdown and blocked the entire hallway because having the employee who was standing there telling them what to do - basically just saying what the sign said - was apparently too much for them to handle. Again; deer in headlights. When I got tired of waiting for their braincell to reboot I started saying excuse me and pushing through which apparently kicked them into gear and they started moving again towards the escalator. For fucks sake (or is it "for fuck's sake"? I want to appear professional): you walk to the left and stand on the FUCKING RIGHT! It's not rocket science, uncultured swine!
Got through passport control - the officer seemed like the most competent person I had met since I checked in - and went towards the baggage pickup. Before that there are those one-way doors; there are two next to each other, and dear man who was short enough to be 12 but bald and grey enough to be 70: if you are aiming for one door go for that one. Don't, at the last moment, switch over to the other one without looking behind you, because it will result in me almost tripping over you and no stop fucking looking at me like that look where you are FUCKING going you are NOT alone in the world.
Waited for my bag that never showed up so after an hour I reported it lost and went home. Apparently I was not the only one from Toronto that had a missing bag. Had to buy toiletries on the way home because someone in Toronto thought it was important to not send my bag with me (it's probably living its best life in Japan or on the beaches on Bali by now - asshole). Everything is hot and humid here with no relief. There is more wind out of my ass than in the air outside.
The worst part is that Very Important Couple (tm) did get their bags and left long before I gave up - but not before they found some of them on one of the carrousels that wasn't for our flight.
But don't worry. I am different than before. I have grown. In spite of this I do not sit here and hate people.
Now I fucking hate everything.
For the record, the bag arrived 3 days later so I’m assuming it came over with the next same flight as I was on, and a few days later everything was back to normal.
Once again big congratulations to Mira and Jeff for getting married. Big thanks for letting me be part of it and experiencing the wonderful wedding (and all the delicious food and snacks… and wine!). Thanks to Lisa for the fun company on my first night back in Canada. Big thanks to Angele for guiding us around Churchill and to the group for such a great time; Chris & Lorne, Dennis & Ruth, Kristi, Dorothy, Donna, Ana, Marina, Jenny, Jeanne and Hillary (and anyone I've unintentionally forgotten).
Full album can be seen here.
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