15th – Gran Paradiso, 4061m (minus a few)

We had breakfast at 0400 and at around 0445 we started our walk upwards towards the summit. The weather was surprisingly fair; a bit cloudy, no wind at all and temperatures like yesterday afternoon.

The ascent was overall pretty rough. We started by crossing a rock field and it wasn’t long before we reached the snow. Not long after this we stopped to put on our crampons and get tied together. From then on the ascent was steep. Even when we zig-zagged up the angles were big so the steepness was still very much present. Some of the slopes were quite steep; 50+ degrees. The steepness reminded me of summit day on Stok Kangri, but here the zig-zagging was still steeper and it lasted much longer than the relative short steep segment in India.

App. 137m from the summit we put away our poles and took out our ice axes instead. We started crossing a crevice before traversing a very steep slope on a very narrow path made by those previously passing by. After a bit we reached an exposed area – still steep to the left, but now with an at least 500m drop to the right. From there you continue up among rocks, but when we arrived there was a queue from the groups arriving before us. Didier had no interest in waiting (he estimated being stuck for up to an hour) so he briskly went off the path and took us below along an icy slope, bypassed them all and brought us back up in front of them ready for the final push.

I am not too happy with heights – especially when standing at a ledge with a large drop, almost no matter the security. So imagine an app. 50m long ledge, maybe 2-ish meters wide at the widest, ½ at the narrowest, riddled with large rocks you had to scamper around with very little to put your feet on and little to hold on to or plant your axe – with massive drops on both sides. We were 4 tourists with Didier in front tied together with me in the back. We walked around one rock, we narrowly passed by a second, had to do some awkward leg movements to get around and over another. To say I was nervous then would be an understatement. From there we had to cross over a rock – the only thing I could manage after plenty encouragement from Didier and the rest of the group was to crawl across on all fours (hold on – earthquake? No, just me shaking) and moving into a sitting position before sliding down from there back onto the ground. Then there was an exposed 4 meters less than half a meter wide (don’t look down look at your feet don’t look down) and almost stumbling across ending up almost hugging the next big rock in my way. Looking over it to where we were going I saw that afterwards you would be getting down from the rock and onto a small ledge (half a foot’s length wide), hook into fixed rope before going along the cliff, around and up less than a meter to arrive at the final summit. It looked beautiful; 2x2 meters – there was plenty room for a complete ballet! But the view of the small ledge was the last straw for me, unfortunately; with everything up to that point and what I was looking at I do not think I have ever felt so terrified before in my life. Without knowing exactly how such a thing feels I was sure I was building myself up to a full-blown panic attack. When Didier realized that I was beyond taking in any reason from either of them he ordered us back. The look of the others, one within arm’s reach of the summit, their look of disappointment was heartbreaking. I felt horrible. But… just…. No. No more. I had to go in front as we couldn’t turn the entire line around, but a bit back we reached a small spot, less than one square meter (and it felt huge!), where we rearranged the line so Didier was in the back with me close and the rest lined up in front. The narrow path we walked before which was very narrow now felt like a 6-lane highway.

Alex had mounted a GoPro on his helmet and filmed the entire up and down of the summit from and to where we left our poles. The video he compiled from the trip can be found on https://youtu.be/R5RPqcQyx6Y and the part with Gran Paradiso starts around 1:20.

We returned to our poles, I took the only photos of the day and it was app 1045 as we started descending. The nice soft snow had started getting chunky after the sun had come up and significantly raised the temperature, and getting closer to the lodge the snow had turned into slush.

We were back at around 1345 and shortly thereafter we continued down back to the car. I arrived at around 1600, Gill and Jon had been waiting for almost half an hour, and Alex arrived half an hour later.

We were back at the lodge in Argentiere at around 1800 and on the drive back Didier gave his assessment on summit chances on Mont Blanc. He dished out a 100% ok, a couple of maybes and me? “The summit day is longer [OK], harder [OK….] and much more technical difficult [yeah….]”. So I seem to be off the summit attempt – and right now, after that experience, I feel fine with that.

It will likely be a rest day tomorrow.

The look up towards the summit from where we left our poles. Followed the path up and the narrow summit ridge is where people are lined up, with the final summit where the few people are standing to the left. The rock to the right is NOT taller than the one to the left, the angle makes it look like it.

Looking down from the same position.